Keys2Ubantu

I sat in my hot room on this fiery summer night listening to what I call slow jams. An old jam came on and I’ve heard this song a numerous amount of times in my lifetime but this night it struck a cord in me, forcing me to listen to the message being relayed. The song discusses the singers trials through life with love that led to her respecting love’s magnificent power. This song dates back to the mid 80’s and for it to resonate more than ever in my life at this moment of time all I could was listen as well as learn that we all go through our own trials with love. Some stories sound the same while others vary. I came to the realization the strength and power of love is vital in life because it’s important to feel the joy as well as the pain just for experiences sake. I, as well as many others have had bumps and bruises trying to achieve and revel in the gift of love but instead of allowing it to find me as well as envelope me, I chased it, which led to my downfall while the other person suffered no injuries. I have felt loves touch but a few times in my life. The protective calluses that have grown covering my heart due to bruising acts as a protectant and does not allow it to pierce me too deep due to the lessons I have learned. I can feel it’s warmth close to me when I go into nature or when I see a couple passing by. I feel it when I see a mother pick her child up after he or she had fallen. These things allow me to recognize that love still dwells in me.

Being broken has allowed me to get in touch with who I am. I have allowed myself to be in solitude when I need to in order to reflect and recover or heal. Healing is a continual process and I am far much better than I was before. I have learned that my love is powerful and healing but the reverse of my love is equally powerful, so I work daily to maintain that balance between love and fury. The yin and yang that lies within us all. A great majority of the time love overtakes me and cools my fury when it runs too hot like a cool river on a hot summer day like this one. Although I have experienced some things I remain grateful for the lessons as well as the blessings.

One morning as I sat on my couch in silence I began thinking of things that no longer served a purpose in my life. Initially my thoughts were generally calm and then a rush of thoughts started to come forward. These thoughts were in the past and had no further value in my life. Oh no, not me, not this, and definitely not today. Suddenly I was face to face with the monster of these unresolved thoughts and that’s when I realized I was tired of this dance. I was growing tired of me versus me. You know it’s time to prune the garden of weeds (toxic and painful thoughts that overtake too much of your time).

The mind rants that came up were, “All of these people have no regards for my feelings.” and I cannot believe he did that to me.” or “I should do this to so, so, so, so, and so because they did this that as well as something else to me.” Half of the things I couldn’t even recollect in it’s full entirety what actually happened. Facing all of these past thoughts and feelings was tiresome. The acceleration was going 100 mph and I had to pull the emergency brake because these toxic thoughts are out of control and out of alignment of who I have worked so hard to become as well as where I envisioned myself going. I had become the supermarket for feeding the toxicity. Just by me giving it my energy, which is very precious I must say, I was wearing myself out.

I am a level II Reiki therapist and one of the mantras uses a phrase discussing letting go freely. It is used during the practice, before the practice, and after the practice. I cannot believe I allowed these thoughts to take residence in my head. Realizing what had happened I decided to go deeper into my thoughts. Looking into the matter further allowed me to come to the conclusion that I was triggered by a picture of someone that hurt me deeply and it led to all of the other hurtful things that had transpired in life. The most wonderful thing that I was able to do was recognize that these people who I felt crossed my boundaries and actually did hurt me but it was time to move on in a healthy way. It was my responsibility to care for me and by not taking care of me I am not having the best intentions for myself. Another light bulb moment and the bell rings loudly, “Ping!” I do not have to associate with people, places, or situations that are detrimental to my mental, spiritual, or physical well being. We are the rulers of our thoughts and actions. Holding on to hurt, shame, ridicule, embarrassment, anger, disappointment, and etc all become harmful to our body, the mind, and the spirit. The same way that a person fasts or goes on a detox to cleanse the body you have the capability to detox the things that no longer serve you. During this pandemic or whatever this is has provided the perfect time to renew and reset so that you as well as I can be fully present to deal with other things. I wrote this piece to inspire others to let go. Stop hurting yourself, others, and let’s start healing.

If whatever I have spoken about resonates with you please leave a comment and by no means is this a mental health platform. If you feel that you need to speak to someone to go deeper into other underlying issues that you feel you need to address, please seek a licensed therapist.

Your house is a place where you reside. It can be referred to as an actual building or the place where your soul lives, which is the body. What I have found is that the answers to many questions is found in quiet moments. It is at the most unlikely times during quietness that we receive revelation. In these silent moments ideas are birthed and plans are made. Being still allows us to become one with the silence which provides the opportunity to receive the messages from the divine. You are able to gain clarity and a renewed focus. Allow yourself the time to quiet the house daily. Turn off the television, the phone, the radio, go into nature and just be quiet for an hour.

This global pandemic has the world in a state of frenzy. Never in my whole time on this earth have I ever witnessed a global shut down of this proportion where businesses are closed and only essential workers are allowed to go perform their duties. Many people are running through their savings buying groceries and making preparations for the long haul while some actually don’t know if they are going to be able to withstand another three months of curfew or being out of work. We must also take into account the number of people infected here in NYC (which has the most infected population in the U.S) and the hospitals that are overpopulated and plus the overworked staff. Let us be mindful of the homeless, who remain without accommodations and are now being forced to practice social distancing as well as facing the possibility of being infected by a virus they more than likely were not even aware of due to their current daily practices for survival.

Now that I have addressed just a small portion of what is going on during this pandemic without being too political, it is time to get to the center. The focus of what should be on everyone’s minds at this juncture should be, gratitude.

How many risings have you jumped out of bed and started your day without bearing in mind that you were created by a divine infinite force that manifests itself for the whole universe to see but due to your busy schedule you neglected the very essence that allows you take that daily breath of life.

This is a time of inspection and reflection. When I use the term inspection, I am speaking about inspecting what needs to be in your life and what’s really important. The best way to inspect is to ask yourself if you were to leave the earth today would this have served a meaningful purpose? Did it improve my whole being or did it bring me to a lower vibration? This will include material items, wealth, friends, family, etc. Lastly are these things worth being grateful for and did I earn it with the purest of intentions.

Reflection provides the opportunity to look deep within in and examine ourselves or situations from the inside out. It allows us to put things into perspective and gives us the blessed opportunity of viewing where we went wrong and how we could adjust to make improvements. Reflection is not just about us, it is also linked to our relationships with others. We are provided with the space to view the good and the bad in others not just ourselves.

Freeing up toxic people and material items that no longer serve any value provides us with a better outlook on life and what we are grateful for. Gratitude is not just for a pandemic it should be apart of your life just as the nose on your face.

The more you appreciate what you have the better your outlook on life will be and it will provide you with the ability to be resilient during many of life’s hardships. Start by writing at least one new thing or person daily that you are grateful for. Why should I start this practice you may ask? It is because it will help to build you up and as time goes by you can increase what you are grateful for. I will you all peace and blessings.

I am grateful to have this forum to express my views and I will that you have safe journeys as well as good health.

I started writing vigorously to accomplish all of the thoughts that ran wildly in my head. I completed the task and I swore I read it over a zillion times. It was time to publish and I was extremely eager. It was time to release the marathon that ran around in my brain. I clicked publish. A sigh of relief was released. Something ran within me again days later screaming in my mind, “Go review your work again.” My resistance was low and so I obliged the voice in mind to calm her worries. Oh no! There were errors and believe me they were counted.

In me discussing my errors that I have made in my writing, it leads me to discussing the errors of life. There are times when you are going to make wrong decisions which will have consequences but do not feel ashamed or alarmed. All of your errors or typos of life are apart of your growth. Celebrate the lessons learned and move on because your biggest critic is you. The thoughts of others are irrelevant especially since many people are tenacious and lack the endurance needed to preserve against life’s circumstances.

A butterfly is so beautiful and graceful. They elegantly flutter through the sky with this captivating beauty set on a big stage for the world to see. Placing a clear jar over the butterfly only provides the illusion that it is free and that it has the capability to fly where ever it wants to go, but in actuality it is flying around in one place. Each time it moves forward a clear hard force field blocks it. The butterfly is prevented from soaring and conversing with the earth. Slowly but surely the butterflies wings will flutter slowly and its ability to soar high will now become lower until the only thing that is left is its lifeless external beauty. Eventually the butterfly will finally transition and will no longer feel the sun’s rays in that form or live its dreams in that state because the invisible prison led to it’s demise.

The moral of the story is do not allow the thoughts of the mind to prevent you from living your dreams or your best life. Break through the invisible chains of relentless fears and self doubt that have been holding you hostage. Aspire to be and to share your gifts with your tribe to ensure their sustainability.

You ever notice how well salsa and chips compliment one another. It’s like a pair of shoes that consists of a right shoe and a left shoe, they can both exist but compliment one another so well. Just like male plus female leads to child which equals family. This is my view of life. Everything must flow, connect, or synchronize to achieve longevity, harmony, growth, and peace. When things are out of sync or fail to connect there is turbulence, disruption, disturbance, and unhappiness.

I find that when I am connected in my salsa and chips state I feel alive, unshakeable, motivated, and determined. So from now on my goal is to have many moments and relationships that have this stream like flow and envelope this life of bliss that is spoken of. I will not give up or sell myself short just because other’s are eating salsa and tripe. Life is about enjoying moments and learning lessons. This is also vital in our development. We should be able to recognize our blessings and manage difficult situations so that we can transform into the elders of our communities. Our role as elders are to advise and institute laws from our cultural aspect that maintain a social order. Gray hairs are a gleaming trophy that is to be worn on the mantle of the crown to exhibit our status in the community. It is a gift that is bestowed from the heavens that is to be respected.

We often forgot about the healers. The ones who spent their lives saving humanity. They are the wind chimes that release sweet melodies from nature. Walking gifts that are sent to teach and renew not only our bodies but our souls.

We often forget about the healers. The ones who know which medicine to administer for ailments of our body, spirits, and souls. The ones who bathed you when the heavens called. The ones who taught you how to manifest your greatness in order to achieve your wellness.

The babas, mamas, the shaman, the medicine people, intuitive’s, the herbalist, energy workers, star seed’s, and the indigo’s.

We done forgot about the healers. The ones who are apart of this beautiful tapestry called life. How could we forget the healers? The question that I pose is, Do you want to be healed?

I dedicate this short poem to the healer. I am grateful for your presence and may we continue to share our gifts and talents to heal.

I emerged from the utter darkness of my mother’s womb. The journey consisted of a number of feelings, one of them being fright. The fear of the unknown world as I left the warmth of this sacred safe place into the unknown. I would be living in the realm which we call, Earth. I was thwarted out into this world that was bitterly cold and consisted of strange looking beings which I later learned were called, humans. A state of panic took over. This was my first anxiety attack. My heart started to beat quickly. All of these people, the cold air, the noises, and the smells became overwhelming which led to me to a place where I felt helpless so I did the only thing that I knew would give me that release from all of the anguish. I simply let out a loud cry. It was a cry that came from the depths of my soul and it appeared that everyone was in agreement because they immediately took me back to safety. Back to the warmth of, Mommy. She provided nourishment through her breast and her soft tones which I had become accustomed to while in the sacred space of the womb. I was made to feel safe once more. So, I stopped screaming and allowed the salt water craze from my eyes to cease from flowing. In her arms I was connected to the warmth of her love on this place called Earth and realized that I was born.